Blind Beaurocracy: TAPPA

On a bad morning Nobel called even before I logged into the system.

When I went, he was already red faced and has many people gathered in his room.

"Khaderao. Why didnt you backfill Tappa officer?"

Tappa????Officer????

What is Tappa? Who is Tappa Officer? Why is Nobel asking me?

Even though many people might have got scared to ask, because I am Khaderao, I directly asked him "Can you please explain what is Tappa?"

Now I could see that Sikhandi can dance like angry lord Shiva. I also saw that even though he doesn't have third eye (and other two eyes are blind enough to see the facts), he can generate fire from those dumb eyes.

My god, I may be forced to kill him today (this has been my worry all these days).

"Dont you know? Do you know there is a Tappa process and people need to get this stamped in every process??????"

Without aggravating the situation,I said "I will come back"

"You need to come back before lunch" (Means my lunch is gone.)

I saw one guy who is looking like the leader of that mob. I asked him to come to my work place.The guy names Thilakam came with me.

I asked him what is all this and what is Tappa. Even he was surprised but he is still better than others. So with lot of patience he started the story.

"Sir! a few months ago I needed to have a desktop and I was making a request as per the process. On my way to the process owner Yesupadam's room I found one guy on my sitting on a stool beneath the tree."

He called me and asked where I was going. I responded him that I needed a Laptop and going to Yesupadam. I also requested that I need to go and submit the application to get the desktop from Yesupadam in at-least 3 months. 

After hearing that he immediately asked me. "Where is the Tappa on your application?" I was wondering on what is Tappa,  but he immediately showed a Rubber Stamp and said that I need to have this Tappa before starting any process. As Automation is being designed by process expert Ranjana it may take time and currently Tappa is manually done.

I promptly got my application stamped. I paid 500 Rupees to him which is the fee for getting Tappa on the application.

When I went to Yesupadam he noticed the "Tappa" on my application and asked me what is this. I told him that Tappa is added as a new step in the 150 step Application process. He approved the application immediately in 7 days (as per SLA it takes 7 days to approve the application). After 6 months I was fortunate and got my desktop. But it was however formatted in next 10 days because I was eligible to have the Desktop for 6 months from the date of application and that period was consumed in waiting itself. I was also fined because I was holding the Desktop for 10 days more than the eligible duration! This was however not a surprise for me as I am used to get my desktops formatted even for other reasons. In addition, my access to office got removed suddenly (as per expectation), I lost even my login at any time (as per predictions). This was all because we work in highly process oriented environment. What I needed to do was to make another application. Now I understood the new process, so promptly got the Tappa stamped. This time I got the desktop in 3 months and I could work for 2 more months....." 

I however didn't understand Thilakam's last sentence, so asked him "Why only two months? as per process your desktop will be formatted after 6 months as a whole? Even if we include 3 months of waiting period you could work for 3 more months????"

Thilakam grinned "Sir you are working with matured company and why are you asking these questions? This time, Yesupadam's team as per process noted wrong dates and formatted the desktop one month earlier than what I believed as the end date of using the desktop. I was not surprised sir. I am used to it and because I completely knew the process including TAPPA, I have no complaints about this"

"Hmm. Seems you are a No COMPLAINTS man. I am curious to know what made you do this dharna with Nobel?"

"Sir, please try to understand. Once I understood the new process, I told all my colleagues to ensure they get TAPPA as the first step for any application. Even if anyone forgets, Yesupadam used to ask them to go back and get TAPPA"

'Than what is the issue?'

"The Tappa guy stopped coming to office sir."

"Oh!"

"Now when we went to Yesupadam, he said without TAPPA no one can move forward. We told that there is no TAPPA guy. Yesupadam insisted we must chase him and get the TAPPA. He clearly stated that there is no deviation defined to this process"

"Why TAPPA guy is not back filled?"

"Sir, this is the question I asked Yesupadam. Like he says usually, he clarified that it is not his job. His job is only to stop or slowdown the work which he has been successfully doing! We waited for 3 months which is quite comfortable for us as we knew how to manually work for 24 hours in a day to cover the backlogs of our projects. Now we reached a stage where we need more than 24 hours for day to manage our work sir. And there are many like me. As many as 500 people are struck. That is when I and other 500 guys went to Nobel"

"Why do you think I have to address this? I don't think TAPPA guy reports to me?"

"Sir, my guess is Nobel called you because you somehow will address the problem even if it doesn't fall on your table."

"Thanks for your understanding. But it is a misunderstanding. I don't want to do anything somehow, that too for Nobel"

"No Sir, I know you are right. but you will do for the team if not for Nobel."

????? This guy got my weak point and trapped me. Now I need to address his problem.

I went to HR and asked them to tell me when TAPPA officer has resigned and what is his job description so that I can hire another guy.

HR promptly took a week to verify and sent a note to me.

"There is no role called TAPPA Officer in the system. We request to investigate and report to us on how and with whose permission did you hire a TAPPA officer. If you do not respond in 55 seconds as per process we will take serious action on you which can be termination......."

Oh my God! we are in an environment where we don't even know why there is a step called Tappa in every process. We don't know who introduced this step. Above all we don't know who is this so-called TAPPA Officer, who collected 500 Rupees per Tappa and disappeared on a fine day.

I will pray the GOD to tell me if there is a manthra to disappear now and reappear when this issue is resolved on its own or by a miracle. If this is not possible, probably I may have to kill Nobel which is in waiting since I started working under him!